Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
