1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
