Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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