You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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