I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
