Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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