The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
