doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
