Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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