Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
