I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
