He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
