You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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