Umm I'm too high to move.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Randomize
