I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
