His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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