Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
