peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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