Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
