Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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