Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
