the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize