Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
