look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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