sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
