Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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