Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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