I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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