But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
