Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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