do herpes really smell.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
