U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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