Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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