Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
