I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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