Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize