that's an acceptable place to lick
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
