i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
