do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
