Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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