mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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