She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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