So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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