ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
