He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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