definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
