I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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