I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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