Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
