So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize