She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
