Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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