so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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