I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
