guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize