Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
