I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
