Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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