Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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