I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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