Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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